All week, we’ll celebrate Chinese Democracy here at Flumesday, and hopefully the censors who monitor websites in China for subversive content will know that I’m talking about the new Guns N’ Roses album, and not Chinese people voting. Trust me, had this album come out while I was still in China, this would have been a big moment for Flumesday. There would have been interviews with Chinese people on what it was like to finally have Chinese Democracy, photo slideshows of Chinese people holding up the “Chinese Democracy” cover, first-hand accounts of what it’s like having Axl’s new album but still not being able to vote, all that shit. But alas, I’m here in New York, so the celebration will be a bit subdued. The album is getting universally panned by music bloggers, newspapers and even fans. Here’s my favorite paragraph from yesterday’s Times‘ review:

“Chinese Democracy” (Geffen) is the Titanic of rock albums: the ship, not the movie, although like the film it’s a monumental studio production. It’s outsize, lavish, obsessive, technologically advanced and, all too clearly, the end of an era. It’s also a shipwreck, capsized by pretensions and top-heavy production. In its 14 songs there are glimpses of heartfelt ferocity and despair, along with bursts of remarkable musicianship. But they are overwhelmed by countless layers of studio diddling and a tone of curdled self-pity. The album concludes with five bombastic power ballads in a row.

“Curdles self-pity.” Wow, that’s mean.

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