Due to a rough run of laziness and a resistance to the serious, upsetting side of Chinese news, I never wrote anything about China’s baby milk scandal, you know, the one where 94,000 children became terribly ill from being fed melamine-laced baby formula. But a story broke Monday that I just couldn’t resist and felt a bit more appropriate for this site. It seems the strawberry and chocolate varieties of sex spreads sold in British sex shops, the tasty pastes that blokes and birds use to coat their penises and nipples respectively, are contaminated with the same chemical found in the deadly baby milk. According to Reuters, powdered milk, like that in the now infamous Chinese baby formula, is a key ingredient in both the chocolate and strawberry sex spread. Who could have imagined that those products found on the shelves of a dark and dingy sex shop could have somehow avoided a diligent quality control inspection? What’s this world coming to? So the next time your lover tastes a bit funky and you reach for your flavored massage cream, nipple nibblers, or pussy gel (all standard industry terms), make sure your product was made somewhere other than China.

(A 2-ounce container of Pussy Licker fruit-flavored sex gel (pictured above) can be purchased here for the low price of $5.41.)

Trackback this Post | Feed on comments to this Post