Who knew about the fishing village called Obama about five hours west of Tokyo? Not only does this place share its name with the guy who will probably be the next U.S. president, but according to these weird celebrations going on there for Obama (the guy, not the city), it seems as though Obama (the city, not the guy) is using the U.S. presidential race to bring attention (and money) to the town. I personally cannot wait until Obama wins and takes his first trip to Japan to visit Taro Aso (my favorite world leader name at the moment) so he can make a pit stop in Obama. That would be powerful. It would kind of be like me taking a photograph here.

So when the putrid 49ers fired head coach Mike Nolan after posting a 2-5 record and replaced him with Chicago Bears legend Mike Singletary, they surely hoped the team would start winning games. Uh, not so much. Singletary’s first game as the Niners’ interim head coach Sunday ended in a sloppy 34-13 loss to the Seahawks. But that wasn’t the worst thing that happened. Not even close. Singletary became embroiled in a heated argument with tight end Vernon Davis on the sideline and sent him into the locker room after Davis drew an unsportsmanlike conduct flag for hitting the helmet of one of the Seahawks. Then after the game, Singletary had a meltdown during his post-game conference. Still, not the worst thing that happened to Samurai Mike on Sunday. The most horrible part of his day occurred before the game even began when Fox sideline reporter Danyelle Sargent showed she knows absolutely zero about football when she spoke with Singletary. She asked Mike about when he called his mentor Bill Walsh after he found out he had gotten the head coaching job. Only one small problem. Singletary couldn’t have called him considering Walsh died last year. Eek. Here’s the cringe-inducing clip:

I stumbled upon this today and it’s something I hadn’t seen in years. When I watched this show as a kid, I don’t think I realized how hysterical the intro was. It’s worth watching again, for the REM song, if not for the jokes.

Just watch.

Due to a rough run of laziness and a resistance to the serious, upsetting side of Chinese news, I never wrote anything about China’s baby milk scandal, you know, the one where 94,000 children became terribly ill from being fed melamine-laced baby formula. But a story broke Monday that I just couldn’t resist and felt a bit more appropriate for this site. It seems the strawberry and chocolate varieties of sex spreads sold in British sex shops, the tasty pastes that blokes and birds use to coat their penises and nipples respectively, are contaminated with the same chemical found in the deadly baby milk. According to Reuters, powdered milk, like that in the now infamous Chinese baby formula, is a key ingredient in both the chocolate and strawberry sex spread. Who could have imagined that those products found on the shelves of a dark and dingy sex shop could have somehow avoided a diligent quality control inspection? What’s this world coming to? So the next time your lover tastes a bit funky and you reach for your flavored massage cream, nipple nibblers, or pussy gel (all standard industry terms), make sure your product was made somewhere other than China.

(A 2-ounce container of Pussy Licker fruit-flavored sex gel (pictured above) can be purchased here for the low price of $5.41.)

I saw this on the Daily Dish tonight and thought it was worth posting. When I see a video like this and think about the time and energy spent by someone to make it, it just reinforces how fucking weird people are. This is so bizarre.