A disturbing rumor made its way into the pages of two of the Western world’s least trusted names in news Sunday, sending shocks from London to Los Angleles to the most remote villages in mainland China. According to Rav, “Britain’s Hottest Showbiz Reporter” at News of the World, Britney Spears is considering adopting a pair of 6-year-old Chinese twins. As Rav wrote in his column, “The desperate singer has told friends she’s in the final stages of talks with an adoption agency and plans to go ahead with the move very soon.” Spears recently lost custody of her own two biological children to ex-husband Kevin Federline following numerous public drug and alcohol-related incidents. If the rumor is true, Britney seems to be executing a standard modern-day business strategy: discarding domestically produced items and replacing them with Chinese-made goods. I think they call it outsourcing. Or is it offshoring? Either way, it’s wildly popular.
TMZ.com, which published the rumor on its site Sunday, questioned whether Britney could even find China on a map. I bet she could. However, I think her chances of making it through the Chinese adoption process are about as slim as the chance of K-Fed becoming the next Middle East Peace Envoy. For one, China’s adoption regulations prohibit single mothers and drug users from adopting Chinese babies. The Chinese government also takes into account body mass index when selecting new parents. Not that Britney’s obese, but she may have a better chance if she got herself back into “Oops…I Did It Again” shape. While I wish Britney the happiness that every pop princess deserves, I can’t help but sympathize with the nice couple in middle America with a pretty house and good jobs who spend years waiting for their Chinese baby only to get denied because Britney Spears wants a second try at being a mother.
•News of the World: Britney Spears to Adopt Chinese Twins
•Sydney Morning Herald: Britney Spears to Adopt Chinese Twins