Another Chinese Halloween has arrived and unlike last year when the big story was how the Western holiday has ruined China, this year it’s about how China has ruined the Western holiday. How? Well because every costume and prop and now some of the candy is produced in mainland China, and to be honest, nobody in America trusts any of this junk. In fact, on Tuesday, Democratic lawmakers have called for the resignation of the U.S. consumer product chief for failing to inspect toys that made it to Halloween stores. Including some of those plastic jackolantern baskets that kids use to carry their candy that were found to contain harmful chemicals. Here are some of the other interesting China-related Halloween headlines:

Scary thought? ‘Halloween Peeps’ Made in China

You know Peeps, those nasty marshmallow things from the bottom of your trick-or-treat bag when you were a kid? Well for the first time in the candy’s 84-year history, the fluffy treats shaped like pumpkins and animals are now made and packaged in China. Just Born, the Pennsylvania-based candy company that makes Peeps said the demand for the candy outgrew its factory’s ability to individually wrap the Spooky Friends candies. The company found a Chinese factory that can do the job and that meets their quality standards (wink, wink). I never liked those things anyway.

‘Ugly Teeth’ Pulled from US Shops Due to Lead Fears

You know those rubber teeth that lame boring middle-aged trick-or-treat greeters put in their mouth in lieu of a costume? Well those are contaminated. Poisoned with lead. According to AFP, “A U.S. retail outlet on Tuesday pulled hundreds of sets of Halloween costume teeth from sale amid fears they could contain excessive levels of lead.” No joke, these Chinese-made “Ugly Teeth” had 100 times the U.S. limit for lead content. Maybe some of those old people who wear them will drop dead this year. Just hopefully not the kids.

Harry Potter Again? Maybe Jack Sparrow

This piece reminds us of two things: First, that the Chinese have not yet fully embraced Halloween. And second, that the Shanghai Daily office should be condemned for allowing idiots to write page after page of the most obvious drivel and then publishing it. This article informs us of what some Chinese people think of Halloween and how they plan on spending it, more of a 2nd grade homework assignment than a feature story. Here’s an actual quote: “It is especially popular among kids and white collars who work in a foreign-invested or joint-venture company. Some use Halloween costume parties to showcase their secret self, while others view it as a social occasion, a chance for exposure to Western culture.” What? He lost me at “joint-venture.”

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