OK, let’s play a quick game. Take 10 seconds to look at the picture. The name of the game is “Who the fuck are any of these musicians playing Shanghai Live Earth Saturday?” Of the 8 artists included in the photo (those two non-Chinese looking guys are in the same group), let’s see who can identify more than two. I can identify the 12 Girls Band and that’s because there are twelve of them. A female friend of mine from Shanghai could only identify four and for each one, she said, “oh, big star.” From what I hear, the girl on the top right is Sarah Brightman, an English singer. I’m not going to front like I knew who she was. Other than that, I’m at a loss. The Live Earth Concert, spearheaded by former U.S. vice president and environmentalist Al Gore, has recruited the biggest performers in the world to play shows on Saturday in 8 different cities (in order of start time: Sydney, Tokyo, Shanghai, Hamburg, London, Johannesburg, New Jersey and Rio de Janeiro). Unfortunately, none of the stars, who include Madonna, Metallica, the Beastie Boys, Kanye, Ludacris and the Smashing Pumpkins decided to come play the Shanghai stage. Instead, at tomorrow’s concert in Pudong, those who shelled out between 220 and 1,100 yuan will get to see Brightman, the 12 Girls Band, Anthony Wong, Eason Chan, Evonne Hsu, Huang Xiao Ming, Joey, Soler and Winnie Hsin (not pictured above). As pretty much every music lover can agree, Chinese or foreign, this lineup sucks. According to Shanghai Oriental Pearl Live Nation, the local event organizer, they wanted to keep the bill Chinese in order to “make more Chinese people realize the importance of environmental protection.” And what do I say to that? Bullshit. First, only the 12 Girls Band and Huang Xiao Ming are from the mainland. And second, if they could have drawn larger international acts, they would have. It’s not like the other cities booked bands only from the surrounding region. Linkin Park is playing Tokyo, Lenny Kravitz is playing Brazil, Snoop’s in Hamburg, the Beastie Boys are playing London and the Police are in Jersey. Why is China the only place that saw Live Earth as an opportunity to showcase local talent? The whole point of Live Earth is that it’s a global effort to save the environment. The Shanghai Daily reported 3,000 people are expected in Shanghai, as opposed to the 65,000 expected in New Jersey or the 700,000 (no typo) expected at the Copacabana Beach in Rio. Saturday’s show in front of the TV Tower is a city-wide joke, a wasted opportunity for Shanghai’s music scene and for environmental awareness in China.

•Shanghai Daily: Local Live Earth Show Features Chinese Flavor
•USA Today: Live Concets Rally Round Earth

The competition that has become emblematic of America– shoving as many hot dogs into one’s mouth in 12 minutes– has a new champion. Joey Chestnut, a 23-year-old from San Jose, California downed 66 dogs in 12 minutes, shattering the previous record of 53 held by six-time champ Takeru Kobayashi from Japan. Kobayashi ate 63 hot dogs Wednesday, his personal best, though he couldn’t stay dog-to-dog with Chestnut. And Kobayashi barfed which, in competitive eating, means a deduction from the total score. Kobayashi recently had his wisdom tooth pulled and complained of jaw problems, but vows to be back next year to reclaim his crown. Chestnut said of his victory, “This title’s been held by Kobayashi for six years, so it’s about time it came home. I knew going into this contest that Kobayashi was going to give 100 percent.” OK, I guess I have been in China for a while, but since when is the July 4th Nathan’s Hot Dog Competition an American sport? The former champ had a jaw injury? The new champ brings the title home to America? ESPN even broadcasts this thing. At one point during the final stretch of the contest, the television announcer said “This would be the greatest moment in the history of American sports if Chestnut can bring the belt home to Coney Island!” And he was dead serious. I suppose when compared to men pulling 18-wheeler trucks in Sweden, or the annual World Wife Carrying Championship in Finland, it doesn’t seem all that strange.

•AP: No-Bayashi: Champ Loses
•YouTube: 2007 Nathan’s Hot Dog Contest

Last week they called Yi Jianlian “China’s Li,” (scroll down) this week it’s “Russia win 2014 Winter Games.” The headline kind of sounds like it is being said by a Russian. “Russia win Winter Game.” I know what they’re trying to say. The Black Sea town, Sochi was awarded the 2014 Winter Olympics Wednesday. But accompanied with this photograph of a celebratory Soviet, it kind of looks like Russia really did win the whole damn Olympics, the ones taking place 7 years in the future. Like they did with the erroneous Yi Jianlian headline Friday, Reuters quickly corrected their headline. There might be an opening pretty soon for a headline writer down at the Reuters office.

•Reuters: Russia Awarded 2014 Winter Games

While most of China still prefers their fish whole and cooked, sushi has taken hold in the upscale eateries in China’s major cities which spells big trouble for little Japan. One would assume that a Chinese interest in sushi would be good for Japan, since a Chinese interest in any Japanese export is ostensibly a good thing. It’s not that simple. According to a Guardian story Tuesday, a shortage of blue fin tuna in Japan’s waters and China’s growing trade surplus have created a sushi crisis for Japan. Prices for certain pieces have skyrocketed and Japan’s fish buyers can no longer compete with Shanghai and Beijing’s high-class chefs buying up the fish at higher prices. As a fisheries-trade official told the Guardian, “The Chinese are going to pay more than what the Japanese can pay very soon. That means exporters will be looking into the China market, not Japan. Five years from now, Japanese consumers will not be able to eat good-quality sashimi. You’ll have to go to China to do that.” Weird. Because as a sushi-lover living in China’s most posh city, there’s nothing good-quality about the sashimi here. While I feel sorry for Japan, the world’s sushi capital, China needs some of that high-grade Japanese fish.

•Guardian: Sushi in Crisis

I don’t mean to be rude, but I can’t really see anything in this painting. But I suppose I’ve never been quite sure as to why the Mona Lisa is the Western world’s “Mona Lisa.” It’s a beautiful painting, sure, Leonardo’s magnum opus, but the puzzling facial expression of Lisa Gherardini (think I knew a girl from New Jersey with the same name), doesn’t seem like it should be the most recognizable and revered piece of Western art in the world. In any event, this painting above, “Along the River During the Qingming Festival,” painted on a scroll by Zhang Zeduan in the early 12th century, is China’s most famous painting, or as some call it, “China’s Mona Lisa.” Keith Bradsher, Hong Kong Bureau Chief of the New York Times, published a story Tuesday about “Qingming Festival,” as it is part of a 32-piece exhibit of Chinese works now on display at the Hong Kong Museum of Art. The exhibit, aptly titled “The Pride of China,” commemorates the 10-year anniversary of Britain handing over Hong Kong to China and is aimed to drum up some Chinese nationalism in the territory. As Bradsher writes, “‘Qingming Festival’ is famous partly for its involvement over centuries in palace intrigues, theft and wars, and partly for its detailed, geometrically accurate images of bridges, wine shops, sedan chairs and boats beautifully juxtaposed with flowing lines for the depiction of mountains and other natural scenery.” But as Hong Kong Keith also points out, that like the Mona Lisa, this painting is famous for being famous. For all of my under-16 readers, kind of like Paris Hilton. To me, again no disrespect to China’s art lovers, “Qingming Festival” looks like an ornate welcome mat. But I’ve never professed to be an expert of Chinese painting.

•NYT: ‘China’s Mona Lisa’ Makes a Rare Appearance in Hong Kong

Hong Kong residents commemorated 10 years under Chinese rule on Sunday as fireworks exploded, boats blasted red smoke, Chinese president Hu Jintao swore in Hong Kong’s chief for another term and protesters called for democracy. It seems the anniversary was more of a celebration for mainland China, a nation that in the past decade has failed to win the hearts of Hong Kong residents, who generally still resist considering themselves as part of China. A decade after the end of the 156-year British rule, Hong Kong still has not been granted full democracy. According to its post-handover constitution, China will steer Hong Kong toward a popular democracy, though Beijing has refused to indicate when this will happen. Hu said over the weekend that in Hong Kong, “democracy is growing in an orderly way.” On Sunday, nearly 20,000 pro-democracy protesters hit the streets waving signs and chanting “one person, one vote.” Hu returned to Beijing before the mass protest on Sunday. As Beijing tries to force Chinese patriotism onto Hong Kong’s 7 million residents, a decade later, Hong Kongers still view themselves as distinct from mainland China and look to the next ten years to achieve substantial democratic reform.

•NYT: Hong Kong Marks Decade Under China
•Bloomberg: Hong Kong in 10 Years Since China Handover and Before: Timeline

I want to be one of George Bush’s friends. One of his really good friends. Not because I have any interest in chatting with him, or having him and Laura over for dinner or catching a baseball game with him, but rather because I can pretty much do whatever I want, no matter how dishonest, hurtful or criminal and he would get me out of it. I could steal a car, rob a house, maybe even murder someone, and this guy would have my back. That’s the type of friend George Bush is. And that’s what he showed long-time buddy Lewis “Scooter” Libby Monday, the former Cheney aide who was sentenced to 30 months in prison for lying to both a grand jury and the FBI. Bush commuted Libby’s sentence saying, “I respect the jury’s verdict. But I have concluded that the prison sentence given to Mr. Libby is excessive.” Commutation is different than a pardon in that it only reduces a sentence, but doesn’t wipe out the conviction. Libby will still have to pay a $250,000 fine. Which I’m sure, as a corporate lawyer and Bush-Cheney pal, he’ll have no trouble paying. So why would a president with a 31% approval rating, his own aides abandoning him, a broken foreign policy, his signature immigration bill rejected and quite possibly the worst presidential record in American history make a move so flagrantly unjust and unpopular? Well it’s simple. George Bush has absolutely nothing to lose. All he has left is his shrinking inner circle of cronies and his skewed sense of loyalty. In letting Scooter Libby free, Bush appealed to both of these. And no matter how corrupt he is or becomes with a year and a half left as president, deep down, everyone wishes they had a friend like George W. Bush.

•WaPo: Bush Commutes Libby’s Sentence
•SF Chronicle: What the Decision Means

A controversy is brewing in Massachusetts over whether the surnames of the U.S. presidential candidates should be translated into Mandarin and Cantonese on the 2008 ballots. The federal government has insisted that Massachusetts join New York and California as states who provide Chinese-language ballots in accordance with a 2005 consent agreement between the U.S. Justice Department and the Massachusetts secretary of state. While on the surface, this seems like a wonderful idea aimed to encourage non-native English speakers to vote, some feel that the transliterated names may favor certain candidates. See the thing is, when English names are translated into Chinese, each syllable is given a Chinese character that resembles the English sound of that syllable. For instance, my Chinese name is da wei, a direct Chinese transliteration of my English first name, David. Translators use these same methods for names like Obama and Giuliani, however in Chinese, as you will see in the graphic below, the meaning of the transliterated syllables aren’t always so great. Furthermore, the Chinese names that the AP and ABC News used for their funny translations aren’t even the actual Chinese names used in China for these candidates. As Flumesday’s Translational Expert points out:

There exists in Chinese a set of characters that are always used to phonetically represent foreign names, and the names of prominent people are standardized in the Chinese media using the same characters. These names are accepted by newspapers, television, radio, etc. so that Chinese speakers know whom the article/report was about. Boston has at least two Chinese papers, one of which, the World Journal, I read frequently, and a glance around their related websites confirm that they conform to the standard transliterations of politicians’ names found in Chinese media around the world. The translator preparing the Chinese election ballot and the translators for the AP and ABC News have ignored these conventions and provide asinine and grossly inaccurate translations. In general, saying that such-and-such a name sounds like such-and-such is fun (my name in Chinese sounds like both “to be in love” and “to pity”), but no one would seriously include such alternatives on a ballot sheet.

Thanks Flumesday’s Translational Expert. My question would be, if a Chinese guy went to the polls knowing he was going to vote for, let’s say, Mitt Romney, isn’t it safe to assume that he would know the name “Mitt Romney” in English? And if all the signage on the streets around the polling place and in the buses that would take a Chinese-American to the polls is in English, I think a Chinese person could handle an English ballot. I consider myself pro-diversity, pro-democracy and pro-any measure that gets people to vote, but isn’t this all a bit much? It somewhat insults the capacity of Chinese voters to know even the most well-known English names. But anyway, here are the translations from the Massachusetts state election officials. And keep in mind, these are not the names used in China nor by the Chinese-America media.

	Hilary Clinton "Tired Forest"
	Barack Obama "Profound Horse"
	Rudy Giuliani "Peaceful Nun"
	John McCain "Triumphant Wheat"
	Fred Thompson "Virtue Soup"
	Mitt Romney "Sticky Rice"

•ABC: Lost in Translation or Chinese Food for Thought?
•AP: Candidates’ Names Are Tough in Chinese