Getting Around the Great Firewall
I read this week that TIME Magazine’s “The China Blog” was injured by the Great Firewall of China when on Monday, all three of the blog’s writers posted about the 18th anniversary of the Tiananmen Square “crackdown.” I say injured because the page was not blocked, but rather just maimed. According to a post the next day by Simon Elegant (sweet name), it was “no surprise this happened as all three of us had posts about that large square in the capital city where something happened in 1989. The machinery that blocks is automatic, evidently. Inside China, our blog still doesn’t load right. No pictures and everything else awry.” Though the images don’t load properly and you can’t see the photos accompanying the text, on an uncensored computer, I saw that “The China Blog” ran the most taboo photo in China — the famous “Tankman” photo. They should have known better.
What they should have done is run this image, the image I have selected to accompany all future Tiananmen-related stories. They should have known that while the actual “Tankman” photo sets off the net-nanny’s alarm, currently in mainland China it is permissible to publish a still image of Selma standing in front Madam Wu’s tank from the twelfth episode of the sixteenth season of The Simpsons titled “Goo Goo Gai Pan.”
In this episode, Marge’s sister Selma has a menopausal urge to adopt a Chinese baby and takes the Simpson clan to Beijing. In the course of the adoption process, Homer, posing as Selma’s husband, lies about his occupation and tells the agency that he is an acrobat, thinking this job would help Selma get approved. Unbeknownst to Homer, the main performer in the premiere Chinese acrobat show suffers a “sudden attack of outspokenness” and as a result fell victim to a “bullet-related death.” 
Totally unrelated to the tank image, but funny and somewhat related to this week’s anniversary.
After Selma and Homer are approved and are given a Chinese baby (named Ling), Madam Wu, the adoption agent voiced by Lucy Lu, takes the baby back after it is discovered that Selma and Homer aren’t really married. Later, Homer finds Ling again and is about to take her back to Springfield. Passing through Tiananmen Square and a plaque that read “On this spot in 1989, nothing happened,” Madam Wu stops Selma with her tank to try and reclaim Ling, the Chinese baby. After a dramatic speech, Madam Wu allows Selma to adopt Ling.
So while the original “Tankman” photo represents subversion for China, the image of Selma in front of Madam Wu’s tank represents strength, hope and the love discovered by a Chinese adoption. While English-language websites in China, including this one, are constantly walking the line between uninhibited thought and self-censorship, writers and bloggers should devote more time to finding suitable and humorous alternatives to banned images and words. As “The China Blog” learned the hard way this week, this may be the only true way to get around the Great Firewall.
•The China Blog: GFW-ed
•YouTube: Chinese Dragons from "Goo Goo Gai Pan"