China’s Zhou Luzin diving at the FINA World Swimming Championships in Melbourne. Zhou took the silver in the men’s 10-meter platform diving event Sunday. China, a nation that takes swimming and diving quite seriously, is in second place in gold and overall medals behind Russia. Though Zhou is one of China’s most accomplished divers, in this AP photo he looks more like he is going for style points on a cannonball.

•China Daily: China, Russia Dominating Swimming Worlds

American manufacturers operate by a double standard when it comes to outsourcing production. They want cheap materials and labor from a place like China and they also want the high standard of quality that one would find in the States. American pet food company Menu Foods learned this week that when you look to China for pet food of high quality, that perhaps you are barking up the wrong tree. Friday, the AFP reported that investigators had solved the mystery of the contaminated Menu Foods “cuts and gravy” pet food that caused the death of 16 cats and dogs and almost a hundred more to fall ill. Since the beginning of March, an alarming number of pets have experienced kidney failure that was found to be triggered by a chemical in their pet food called aminopterin, a substance that was once used in the U.S. to induce abortions but has since been banned by the FDA. Well then how did a substance illegal in the U.S. find its way into nearly 100 brands of American pet food? Hmmm. The chemical present in the pet food was found in the wheat gluten. And where does Menu Foods purchase its wheat gluten? You guessed it. China! Yes, that’s right. If your pet is dying and you want someone to blame, blame China, where aminopterin is commonly used as a rat poison. Well first blame your pet food company for having no idea what type of chemicals are put into to its own product, and after that, blame China. An executive at the National Pest Management Association said that it would be rare for wheat to be contaminated as it makes no sense to spray wheat with a rodenticide. He says the chemical is sometimes sprayed around the perimeter of the wheat storage facility. Why I trust a guy who has made the decision to dedicate his life to managing pests, I don’t know, but he sounds like he knows what he’s talking about. Menu Foods has recalled all dog and cat food packaged between Dec. 3 and Mar. 6. Let this be a lesson to those companies that use China in its supply chain. Along with cheap material and cheap labor comes cheap quality, cheap controls and an overall cheap attitude. Menu Foods is probably hoping something else will be cheap– the amount of money they will pay to the pet owners for veterinary expenses and in legal fees. The company has already agreed to compensate medical expenses for the poisoned pets.

•AP: Pet Owners Double Checking Cabinets

The sole surviving son of Chairman Mao, Mao Anqing, died Friday in Beijing at the age of 84. Mao Anqing, born in 1923, was the second son of Mao and his first wife Yang Kaihui, who was killed by the Nationalist government in 1930. Mao Anqing, pictured right with his dad, was never active in Chinese government and spent the majority of his later years in mental hospitals. As they would say in New York, Mao Anqing was “a crazy.” Last November, Mao Anqing wrote a eulogy to his father in the People’s Daily on the 30th anniversary of the Chairman’s death. While many suspected that Mao’s son did not write the eulogy himself (see above sentence about mental illness), he used the opportunity to attack the current Hu Jintao government and accuse today’s leaders of excess and corruption writing “He (Mao) never helped us get rich.” Sour grapes? Mao Anqing leaves behind wife Shao Hua and son Mao Xinyu. No cause of death has been given.

•AP: Late China Leader Mao Zedong’s Son Dies

Any man who hits his professional peak before his sexual peak is worthy of some recognition here on Flumesday. Michael Chang, who is still the youngest player ever to win a Grand Slam tennis event, is this week’s Chinese Person of the Week. Now I realize Michael Chang is technically American. He was born in Hoboken, New Jersey. But according to the Chinese Person of the Week terms of entry, anyone with the name “Chang” qualifies for the honor. Other than his surname, why is Michael, who really hasn’t made any news since he won the ‘89 French Open at the age of 17, this week’s Chinese Person of the Week? First, because I miss him. And second, because after all these years of tennis fans asking “what ever happened to Michael Chang?” there is finally an answer. This week it was announced that Chang is in negotiations to be the coach of China’s top female tennis prospect Peng Shuai in the 2008 Beijing Olympics. The 35-year-old Chang, or as he is called in the mainland, Zhang Depei, recently finished a 5-week intensive Mandarin course in Beijing so that he can communicate effectively with his future pupil. China has high hopes for its tennis players in Beijing next year. There are 4 Chinese women in the top 100 and a Chinese duo took the 2004 gold medal for women’s doubles in Athens. While Chang’s parents were born in Taiwan, in Beijing it will be the Chinese mainland that will benefit from his tennis expertise. After his French Open victory, at 17, Chang never won another grand slam and has been out of the public eye since his retirement from the pro tour in 2003. Known throughout his career for his lightning speed, Chang faded away from tennis about as fast as he used to get to balls on the baseline. And because Michael heads back to his homeland to aid China in its mission to rule tennis at the 2008 games, he is Flumesday’s Chinese Person of the Week.

•Melbourne Herald Sun: China Olympics Lures Chang

It could spell big trouble for little China if the call for an Olympic boycott over Darfur picks up political steam in the West. Tuesday evening at a Paris rally, major French presidential candidate Francois Bayrou brought what was once a fringe idea perpetuated by Darfur activists into the mainstream. Bayrou told the Paris crowd, “If this drama does not stop, France would do itself credit by not coming to the Olympic Games. There is nothing easier than stopping this tragedy, this genocide. This is a political issue because China decided to bring its protection to the Khartoum regime.” China and the Sudan have a long-standing economic and diplomatic relationship which has caused many Darfur advocates to accuse China of being complicit in the genocide that has taken 200,000 lives in the region since 2003. As the AP reports, China buys two-thirds of all oil produced in Sudan and in exchange, sells the Khartoum government weapons and military aircrafts. China, a permanent member on the U.N. Security Council, abstained from Resolution 1706, which would have brought an international peacekeepingoperation in Darfur and Beijing has consistently opposed sanctions against the Khartoum government. Eric Reeves, English professor at Smith College and one of the leading Darfur activists and experts, commonly refers to the Beijing games as the “Genocide Olympics.” While Reeves does not favor a boycott of the Olympic games, he writes this about the China-Darfur connection on his website:

It’s time, now, to begin shaming China– demanding that if the Beijing government is going to host the premier international event, the Summer Olympic Games of 2008, they must be responsible international partners. China’s slogan for these Olympic Games– “One world, one dream”– is a ghastly irony, given Beijing’s complicity in the Darfur genocide. The Chinese leadership must understand that if they refuse to use their unrivaled political, economic, and diplomatic leverage with Khartoum to secure access for the force authorized under UN Security Council Resolution 1706, then they will face an extremely vigorous, unrelenting, and omnipresent campaign to shame them over this refusal.

Not surprisingly, China is not all that bothered by any shaming campaign and the Chinese embassy in Paris did not comment on Bayrou’s statements on Tuesday. Needless to say, no one returned my calls. Interestingly, Wednesday marked the 27th anniversary of Jimmy Carter’s announcement that the United States would boycott the 1980 Moscow Olympics in protest of the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. As the AP points out, though America persuaded many of its allies to join the boycott, France was not one of them. With less than a year and a half to go before the Olympic torch is lit in Beijing, it remains to be seen how China will adjust its policies in order to appear as a “globally responsible” Olympic host. And if Western countries are serious about a Darfur-inspired boycott, Olympic planners may have to change the Olympic slogan from “One World, One Dream” to “Half the World, One Big Nightmare for China.”

•AP: French Candidate Calls for China Boycott

Beginning Wednesday, all the major news outlets reported on a study that found Chinese food to be unhealthy. The AP called a typical Chinese menu “a sea of nutritional no-nos.” The U.S. survey, conducted by the Center for Science in the Public Interest, found that American-style Chinese dishes contain unhealthy amounts of fat, calories, salt and sugar. According to the survey, a plate of General Tso’s has 40% more sodium and more than half the calories an average adult needs for an entire day. And eggplant with garlic sauce, another good one, contains half of the 2000 calories recommended per day and more than the daily allowance of sodium. Nobody actually thought Chinese vegetable dishes were healthy, did they? Two questions. First, who finances these ridiculous studies? Whoever it is, I want them to fund two studies that I will conduct– the first on whether or not ice cream is tasty and the second on whether American males living abroad aged 25-26 enjoy coitus. Second, was anyone under the impression that American-style (the distinction is important) Chinese food was healthy? Everyone knows this already. Are there Americans on diets who walk into a Chinese restaurant thinking “today I’m going to supplant my Weight Watchers meal with an egg roll that drips grease down the side of my hand and Kung Pao Chicken with an extra bowl of rice so that after the chicken is gone I can spoon the residual sauce onto the rice (kind of a good move).” The only good news for Chinese food, says the CSPI, is that it’s better for you that Mexican and Italian, as it is less likely to cause heart disease. Mmmmm, Mexican and Italian.

•AP: Chinese Restaurant Food Unhealthy
•Flumesday.com: The History of General Tso’s Chicken

Monday, members of the U.S. Supreme Court, the highest court in the land (no pun intended), were forced to utter the phrase “Bong Hits 4 Jesus.” The slogan is at the center of what has become the most important student freedom of speech case in nearly 40 years in America. The story starts back in 2002 when Joseph Frederick, then a high school senior at a Juneau, Alaska high school waved a 14-foot banner that read, you guessed it, “Bong Hits 4 Jesus” at a parade for the passing of the 2002 Olympic torch. The parade was during school hours and across the street from the school building. Frederick, now 23, said, “I waited until the perfect moment to unveil it, as the TV cameras (following the torch relay) passed.” Frederick’s principal at the time, Deborah Morse, saw Frederick’s sign from her window, ran across the street from the school, to where Frederick stood on a public sidewalk off school premises, confiscated the sign and suspended Frederick for 10 days for publicizing a “pro-drug message.” Morse said that “bong hits” referred to smoking marijuana. Thanks for the clarification Principal Morse. Frederick then sued Morse, and the suit has now escalated to the high court (pun intended). Not surprisingly, the Bush administration spoke out in favor of Morse and favors a court decision that limits certain free speech at school with which the school disagrees. Interestingly, the AP notes that Bush’s conservative Christian backers disagree with the President’s stance for fear that school-regulated freedom of speech will hinder students’ right to religious expression at school. The Supreme Court ruled in the famous Tinker case of 1969, in which John and Mary Beth Tinker won the right to wear anti-Vietnam armbands to school, that students “do not shed their constitutional rights to freedom of speech or expression at the schoolhouse gate.” For nearly 40 years, this ruling has been the benchmark for freedom of speech in the schools. And now it seems, like many other once-standard American ideals during the Bush era, that this fundamental First Amendment protection is in danger. The court is expected to render its decision by the end of June.

Perhaps some of you loyal Flumesday readers are wondering why this story was not posted in the “Stateside” column. After all, this main column exclusively hosts stupid videos and China-related topics. And as there is no stupid video and certainly, neither freedom of speech nor bong hits nor Jesus constitute a China-related topic, why then, is this “Bong Hits 4 Jesus” story sitting where it is. Well, I’ll tell you. Joseph Frederick, the waver of the “Bong Hits 4 Jesus” banner has been noticeably absent from these court proceedings. Not because he’s been home on his couch firing up bingers watching National Geographic. The 23-year-old Frederick is living in China currently studying Mandarin and teaching high school English at a Chinese school. Yes, my fellow expat brethren, the young man whose name, in a few months, could be synonymous with freedom of speech in America’s schools, is one of us. Frederick’s exact location has been kept confidential for fear that he would be harassed by the media. And one can only wonder to what extent bong hits or Jesus play a role in his life over here.

•AP: High Court Hears ‘Bong Hits’ Case
•ACLU: ACLU Urges Supreme Court Not to Abandon Landmark Free Speech Ruling

Sunday night in Guangdong, the Bayi Rockets took Game 1 of the CBA finals, defeating the Guangdong Tigers 94-89. Sorry, let me backtrack. There’s this league in China called the CBA or China Basketball Association that is not the same as America’s CBA, though equally as boring. In fact, it is China’s national basketball league. Who are some players you know who played in the CBA? Well there’s Yao Ming who played from 1997-2002. And that just about does it.

I suppose that’s a bit insulting. True NBA fans know Wang Zhizhi, who played 5 forgettable seasons with the Mavericks, Clippers and Heat and became the first Chinese player ever to play in the NBA. He has since returned to China and coincidentally, played in Sunday’s game. And played quite well. The 7-footer shot 10-12 for 22 points and 8 boards to help the Bayi Rockets steal Game 1 on the road. Since his return to China, the 29 year-old is turning heads once again back at his former place of employment, the NBA.

This year, unlike in years past, a large group of NBA scouts came to China to get a first-hand look at the Chinese talent. Don’t be confused, the main source of NBA interest is not Wang, but rather 20-year-old Yi Jianlian, who TIME magazine dubbed “The Next Yao Ming.” Yi is expected to go top 10 in this year’s NBA draft and is creating a buzz in NBA front offices. Top officials from the Bulls, Warriors, 76ers, Nets and Suns all made the trip to China to watch Yi and Wang square off for the CBA championship. Suns VP of basketball operations told reporters in Guangdong, “We know that Yi Jianlian has declared himself eligible for this year’s draft, so we have come to watch him. There are a lot of good players in this match up that are worth looking at.”

Among the NBA officials on hand for the game was the “C” of “Run TMC” (Tim Hardaway and Mitch Richmond are not in China), Brooklyn’s own Chris Mullin, currently an executive for Golden State and Bull’s general manager John Paxson. The least the Chinese government could have done is announce that two of the most dangerous 3-point shooters of the last century were in town together. I might have traveled to Guangdong just to touch Mullin’s crew cut. Which, by the way, looks like it’s doing quite well (photo above).

It would have been nice to hear what Mullin and Paxson think of Yi and Wang and their overall impression of Chinese basketball. Unfortunately, the NBA places a gag order on team representatives from discussing possible draft selections or players not in the NBA. Both Mullins and Paxson’s teams are currently in line to make the playoffs and thus, would not have a opportunity to draft Yi in the NBA lottery.

While Game 1 of the CBA finals did not garner any attention in America, there’s one 7-foot-6-inch CBA fan who announced he would be pulling for the Bayi Rockets. Yao Ming, in Philadelphia for a road game, told the Houston Chronicle that he was unable to catch the game live as he would have back home in Houston. Yao told the newspaper, “The hotel would charge $10 for the Internet, so I didn’t get it. I just waited for friends to call to say they (Bayi) lost Game 1. Yao went on to say, “Hey, that’s not cheap. You pay $10 for 10 minutes; that’s not fair. You can wait 20 hours to get home, where it’s free.” This year, Yao will be earning $12.5 million from the Houston Rockets.

Perhaps Yao is like the rest of us when it comes to the CBA. While it’s cool insomuch as it relates to the NBA– Yi Jianlian, Wang Zhizhi and of course, Yao– the league just isn’t all that cool on its own. If it were, I think the league’s most prestigious alum could have spent a couple hundred bucks to watch the first game of the finals.

•AFP: NBA Scouts Descend on China for Finals
•Houston Chronicle: Yao Says He’s Pulling for Bayi

This is why I like the NCAA tournament. Besides for the fact that the tourney shows America’s brightest athletes playing for one shining moment (and by bright I don’t mean smart), it’s the rivalry and debate all across America that truly makes the tournament for me. It’s the idiot who justifies each one of his picks as though he knows something. It’s the donning of college sweatshirts. And it’s the rubbing it in when your friend’s team gets knocked out a bit too early. When Duke got knocked out of the first round of the NCAA tournament Thursday night, I wondered how wide the smiles were for the Carolina fans in Chapel Hill. This video, called “This is Why Duke Sucks,” is the work of a Carolina fan who, well, believes Duke sucks. And while the video was obviously made right before the start of the tournament, you can only imagine how happy this guy was when Duke lost.

Anheuser-Busch (it’s so hard for me not to say “St. Louis, Missouri” after this) plans on doubling the number of Chinese cities in which Budweiser beer is sold over the next five years. Currently, Budweiser only makes up two percent of the Chinese beer market, however Anheuser-Busch controls about 40% of the premium market and controls 27% of Tsingtao, the national beer of China and owns both the Wuhan and Harbin brewing companies. A Reuters article Friday explains how China, the largest beer market in the world by volume, will be a battleground for foreign beer manufacturers in the coming years. For one, Chinese dudes like to get twisted. And two, the Chinese consumer has a bit more money in his pocket these days for some higher quality suds. While Carlsberg sits atop the foreign beer market in China, Anheuser-Busch plans to bump distribution of Corona, of which Anheuser-Busch owns half. While the China beer market is the hottest in the world right now, Americans still own the per capita beer-drinking game. According to Reuters, the average Chinese consumes 24 liters of beerannually while the average American downs 80. And I think I know why. The Chinese women bring down the average. Traditionally, Chinese women do not drink and in fact, a Chinese man once told me that if a Chinese woman drinks, she’s “not a good woman.” Typically, Chinese women drink orange juice or something while they leave the boozing and smoking to the men. I’m sure this brings down the average a great deal. American women on the other hand, they love their beer. Especially the aforementioned Mexican brand with the cute little lime and the whole thumb-in-the-bottle routine. This always seemed kind of gross to me. Currently, Budweiser can be found in 100 Chinese cities and is the signature brand of Anheuser-Busch. St. Louis, Missouri.

•Washington Post: Anheuser-Busch to Expand Budweiser Sales in China