Making Paper Out of Panda Shit
Researchers in southern China are working long and hard trying to solve one of science’s great mysteries. No, not time travel. And not the phenomenon of Shanghainese people puking on the street all the time. Although I’m waiting for someone to solve that mystery. Researchers at the Chengdu Giant Panda Breeding Base in Sichuan province are trying to figure out how to turn panda shit into paper. According to an AP story Tuesday, the researchers learned on a trip to Thailand that there exists paper there made from elephant dung. And surely if the Thais can make paper from elephant shit, the Chinese can figure out a way to do the same using panda poo. Liao Jun, one of the Chengdu panda specialists, believes that the fiber-rich panda dookie would actually make a “finer-quality paper” than that made from elephant excrement. So I’m sure you’re thinking “how do you make paper out of crap?” Well according to the AP, making shit paper involves “a daylong process of cleaning the feces, boiling it in a soda solution, bleaching it with chlorine and drying it under the sun.” I wonder, how exactly does one clean a piece of feces? The boiling, bleaching and drying I get, but it’s the first part I have trouble with. Cleaning feces? The panda reserve is currently in talks with paper mills who are interested in converting the bear turds into reams of office paper and rolls of wrapping paper. A panda shit paper product line is due sometime next year. It has yet to be discussed whether or not there will be a scratch ‘n’ sniff paper product for kids.
•AP: Panda Poop to Do Double Duty in China