On Thursday, the NBA told Timmy to go away. Tim Hardaway, who told a Miami radio station this week that he “hates gay people,” will not be participating in the NBA All-Star week in Las Vegas. Hardaway was scheduled to make a number of appearances in Vegas. NBA Commish David Stern told a radio station Thursday, “We removed him from representing us because we didn’t think his comments were consistent with having anything to do with us. His views are not consistent with ours.” Finally the NBA is making a statement. I wrote yesterday sarcastically about how the NBA’s elder statesmen would be more tolerant of a teammate like John Amaechi, the gay former player who recently came out. Truthfully, I don’t expect anything from these guys. I think this generation of NBA players is terribly childish, insecure and is more consumed with being “hard” than anything else. Except for one guy in particular who throughout his career has always managed to keep all of this macho stupidity beneath him. Here’s what Shaq had to say about having a gay teammate: “‘If he was on my team, I guess I would have to protect him from the outsiders. I’m not homophobic or anything…. I’m not the type who judges people. I wish him well.” Who knows whether Shaq genuinely feels this way or not. It would be nice if he did. But at least he has the sense of decency to others, the sense of loyalty to his employer and the sense, in general, to not gay bash on the radio four days before the All Star Game. I think the NBA should use Tim Hardaway as an example, and use this event to set the the league straight. And maybe sometime soon, we’ll have some respectable, interesting guys on the court, people like Shaq, who are actually worthy of fans’ admiration.

•AP: NBA Banishes Hardaway
•FOX: Hardaway’s New Legacy

Aaah. Valentine’s Day in China. Sometimes it seems like the only Western holidays the Chinese don’t celebrate are the Jewish ones. The flower sales associates hit the streets hard today. Rumor has it, the price for a Valentine’s Day rose is about 10 times what it is on a normal Chinese day. Who really knows though? And on February the 14th, who really cares? Shanghai’s fanciest restaurants are booked solid. Champagne will be flowing at the city’s finest bars. And there’s even talk of limousines. Something I observed on my first Chinese Valentine’s Day: there are way more guys carrying flowers here than back home. And I mean guys walking with girls holding flowers. On this Valentine’s Day, as Manhattan public access star Robin Byrd used to say, “lie back, get comfortable and don’t forget your rubber” (though it’s really okay if you do in this case). Here is China’s Valentine’s Day news:

♥SHANGHAI (Reuters) — The top U.S. matchmakers eHarmony and Match.com are looking to hook up with Chinese partners so that the Chinese can get their cyber-dating on. The top matchmaking companies see China as an emerging online market and view the Chinese as an untapped resource for cyber-dweebs desperate for sex.

♥BEIJING (China Daily) — While Valentine’s Day is cool and all, there is only one holiday that matters in China this week. And it’s not V-Day. It’s the mother of all Chinese holidays. It’s Chinese New Year a.k.a. Spring Festival a.k.a. chūnjié which begins Saturday all over China. Lovers this year were forced to choose between having dinner, drinks and sex with their partner or traveling back home to see their family. According to a China Daily article Wednesday, family won out over love. Many Chinese spent Valentine’s Day on a train by themselves to spend the lunar new year with the folks.

♥BEIJING (Xinhua) — As Valentine’s Day takes hold in the Middle Kingdom, new industries have been created to cater to the needs of lovers in China. A man in Lanzhou took advantage of a new movie service in which he paid 2,000 yuan ($250) to rent out an entire movie theater for him and his girlfriend. He plans on proposing to his unsuspecting lady using flash animation to be displayed on the theater’s screen. In Hangzhou, a website is selling $100 “stars,” whereby men buy a “star” with their lover’s name on it and present to her on the web. If you’re confused, so am I. And my favorite new V-Day industry: the extra-marital affair detective business. Wives in Zhejiang province can hire a detective to follow their husband to find out where and with whom those lying sons of bitches are spending the day. The detectives cost 3,000 yuan ($375) a day.

♥SHANGHAI (AP) — The official dish of Valentine’s Day in Shanghai is the “space spud,” or more specifically, the purple potato grown from seeds which mutated during a Chinese space mission. All true. Shanghai’s most exclusive restaurants are offering the space potatoes fried, boiled or even as iced drinks. While agricultural experts claim these taters to be more nutritious than regular potatoes, the aphrodisiacal properties of the “space spud” have not been confirmed.

Last week, I wrote about gay former NBA player John Amaechi whose book about being a closeted NBA player came out yesterday. I also wrote about how the young players in the NBA reacted to Amaechi’s outing himself, which for the most part consisted of the typical, “as long as he don’t touch me” routine. Well surely the elder statesmen of the NBA would show more perspective, more discretion and more tolerance than the NBA’s raw new school. Or maybe not. Here’s what former 5-time NBA all-star Tim Hardaway had to say Wednesday to a Miami radio station about having a gay player as a teammate:

 
You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known. I don’t like gay people and I don’t like to be around gay people…I’m homophobic. I don’t like it. It shouldn’t be in the world or in the United States… First of all, I wouldn’t want him on my team. And second of all, if he was on my team, I would, you know, really distance myself from him because, uh, I don’t think that is right. I don’t think he should be in the locker room while we are in the locker room… Something has to give.
 

Jesus. What the hell is wrong with these guys? You’d think, at the very least, these dudes would have publicists around them telling them when to shut the fuck up. And like the idiot Tim Hardaway revealed he is, he called a Miami TV station a couple hours later to apologize. He said, “Yes, I regret it. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said I hate gay people or anything like that. That was my mistake.” I guess his publicist woke up or something.

•AP: Hardaway: ‘I Hate Gay People’

Tuesday evening Shanghai time, the AP reported that North Korea has agreed to shut down its nuclear weapons program. According to the report:

Under the deal, the North will receive an initial 50,000 tons worth of aid in heavy fuel oil for shutting down and sealing its main nuclear reactor, to be confirmed by international inspectors, Chinese envoy Wu Dawei said. The North eventually will receive another 950,000 tons in aid for irreversibly disabling the reactor.

The United States will begin the process of removing North Korea from its designation as a terror-sponsoring state and also on ending U.S. trade sanctions, but no deadline was set, according to the agreement. Japan and North Korea also will seek to normalize relations, Mr. Wu said.

That’s a lot of aid. Though keep in mind, there have been plenty of agreements in the past that have not been upheld by North Korean dictator Kim Jung Il. If the North Koreans follow through, Tuesday’s agreement will be the first substantial progress made in nearly three years of these six-party talks (China, U.S., Japan, Russia and the Koreas). After 60 days, the six parties will reconvene to evaluate the extent to which North Korea follows the terms of the agreement. Already, there are opponents of the deal, including former U.S. ambassador to the U.N. John Bolton, who believes this deal sends the wrong message to the rest of world. In Bolton’s words, “If you hold out long enough, eventually you get rewarded with massive shipments of heavy fuel oil for doing only partially what needs to be done.” Eh, stop being such a party pooper, Bolton. As China has somewhat spearheaded the negotiations, Beijing comes away from the negotiations looking very diplomatically strong. Though, now that Beijing is in on the agreement, as a senior Bush official pointed out to the New York Times, “If they renege on this, they are sticking their fingers into the eyes of the Chinese.”

•NYT: North Korea to Close Reactor in Exchange for Raft of Aid
•Xinhua: Six-Party Talks End With Joint Document
•AP: N. Korea Will End Nuclear Program

From the Cinema for Peace Gala at the Berlin Film Festival Monday, U.S. film star Richard Gere encouraged Germany to press China on the issue of human rights in Tibet. As you may know, Gere is a devout Buddhist and a strong supporter of the Tibetan Independence movement. Currently Germany holds the presidencies of both the European Union and the G-8 which, according to the American Gigolo star, means that now is a “historic moment for Germany to step forward.” An interesting fact about Gere’s involvement in the Free Tibet cause: like the Dalai Lama (pictured left with the ripped bicep), the actor is permanently banned from entering mainland China. At a news conference Monday, Gere told the media, “This is a moment of great possibility for not just punishing but encouraging China to become part of the modern world. Tibet should be ever-present in any discussion with China.” While there was no official response from the Chinese government on Gere’s statement, one Chinese person interviewed by Flumesday had this to say on the matter: “He makes a good point about Tibet. I really believe that Tibet….wait a sec…. Richard Gere?… isn’t he the dude from that hooker movie who used to do the thing with the gerbils?” Yes, I suppose he is. But he’s also “Jack Somersby from that Civil War movie” and he’s also “the scorned husband from that crazy hot Diane Lane affair movie.” Later this year, Gere will star in I’m Not There, a film in which seven characters embody different aspects of Bob Dylan’s life.

•AP: Gere Urges Germany to Press China

According to an AP report Monday, U.S. Assistant Secretary of State Christopher Hill is making the girls’ panties drop in Beijing. The sexy middle-aged, muscular hunk of a U.S. envoy, who has traveled to China many times over the last few years, has become a bona fide heartthrob in China’s capital. It’s about time China take notice of his boyish good looks and sculpted physique. The desk clerk at the hotel where Hill stays in Beijing told the AP, “He’s so charming and attractive. He sometimes asks me how I am in the mornings. He’s one of our nicest guests.” I guess being polite is all it takes to arouse the Beijing ladies. This guy just oozes sex. Hill, who’s in Beijing currently for six-party talks regarding North Korean nuclear activity, made a major trip to China in December during which he made frequent daily media appearances that were reportedly a big hit with the Chinese media. One of Hill’s security officials admitted that Hill is mobbed by Chinese travelers at the Beijing airport looking for photos and autographs. I wonder why Hill doesn’t do some runway work on the side while he’s in Beijing. I’ve heard there’s a lot of modeling work available for Western guys with Mr. Hill’s Adonis-like features, James Dean coiffure and the type of charm that can only be found in George Bush’s cabinet.

•AP: Boyish U.S. Envoy Becomes Heartthrob in China

In its February 19th issue, New York Magazine ran a story about the best of New York City’s Chinatown. It selects a location for the best late-night, banquet-style meals, Shanghainese food and of course, noodles. After Shanghai, New York City is home to the most Flumesday readers anywhere in the world. And all of my market research shows that the readers in New York like to get drunk and eat Chinese food. Also, according to my data, the New York bunch is 5 times more likely to use the phrase, “get the fuck outta here” to express shock or surprise. But for those who like to make a drunken late-night visit to the best Chinatown anywhere in the world, let New York Magazine be your guide. The magazine picks Great N.Y. Noodletown (28 Bowery) and Fuleen Seafood (11 Division St.) as the best late-night spots for “for a hot bowl of noodles with roast duck after a night of bar-hopping.” Though a warning, from personal experience, if you’ve drunk too much, noodle soup with strange meat in it might not be the greatest idea. And if you want to try some of this here Shanghainese food, New York Magazine recommends New Green Bo (66 Bayard St.) where Shanghai’s famous soup dumpling are served hot and, of course, soupy and the fried dumplings are supposedly the crispiest in town. If you’re not used to Shanghai cuisine, these soup dumplings just may elicit a “get the fuck outta here.”

•New York Magazine: Wontons at All Hours

A 20-volume report on Chinese Sustainable Development compiled by 184 Chinese academics was released Monday to the Chinese media. The reports predicts that the life expectancy of a Chinese person will be 85 years by 2050. Currently, the Chinese life expectancy is 72 years. Also, the average number of years a Chinese student will be in school is expected to jump from 8 years to 14 years by mid-century. The study concluded that China has done to nothing to improve its environmental situation over the last 3 years. But the most interesting finding of the study to me was that the academics believe that in 2015, “China’s social and economic indicators should be on par with developed countries in the 1960s.” That’s a long time ago. While I realize that this is chiefly an economic prediction, this makes me imagine China like 1960s America. Like the sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll stuff. I read before coming to Shanghai that China was entering its sexual revolution, and that for the first time there were traces of the “free love” of 60s America. I can see this somewhat. The drugs part, can’t see it ever happening and the rock ‘n’ roll is coming around. But I think really it means that China’s economy is developing at such a rate that by 2015, China’s 1.3 billion residents will have the financial security and access to care and education that those in developed countries had in the ’60s. Which really puts into perspective how far behind China really is.

•Reuters: Chinese Life Expectancy to Jump: Report

Monday, Westchester County, the county directly north of New York City, passed a resolution banning the ‘N’ word. While the ban is symbolic and there are no punishments for using the word, Westchester becomes the first county to outlaw the word. Clifton Young, the black lawmaker who drafted the resolution said, “I hear it just too much in my community and in other communities throughout America. No matter who uses it or how they use it, it’s demeaning.” While ostensibly, the resolution is a positive measure by which to eradicate the racial slur from usage, many people see the resolution as being wholly unconstitutional. In a MSNBC.com online poll, 73% of nearly a thousand voters believe the ‘N’ word ban to be a direct infringement on freedom of speech. While I recognize the hurtful nature of the word, I can’t say that I disagree with the majority on this one. Banning words not only seems a bit excessive, it establishes a very dangerous precedent. First, if this racial slur is symbolically eliminated, should all of the other racial slurs be banned as well? And then what about slurs for homosexuals, women or other groups like midgets or fat people? When asked about the freedom of speech issue, Young said, “We can exercise free speech by choosing not to use this hateful word.” OK, yeah, but that makes no sense. On a side note, 4% of those who responded to the MSNBC poll voted “not sure” about whether they agreed with the resolution. What possesses people to click on an online poll to vote for “not sure?” According to an AP article Tuesday, there is a similar resolution on the table in Manhattan and Congressman Charlie Rangel is considering bringing such a ban in front of the U.S. Congress. If this happens it will be interesting to see which members of Congress, if any, are brave enough to vote against it.

•AP: NY County Calls for an End to Slur
•Flumesday: The End of the ‘N’-Word

A very common question people ask me is “What is it like living in a communist country?” And a lot of times I want to answer like Scarface from Half Baked and say “Yo, I don’t know, B!” Not because I don’t like to answer people’s questions about China, but because really, I don’t know B. China doesn’t really feel to me like communism or what I thought communism was. There’s nothing “classless” about today’s China. And although I hear people say and read people write all the time how China is becoming a capitalist society, I’m certain modern-day China is not capitalist. So then what is China? Is it Maoist? Socialist? Stalinist? All these big words, and no definitive answer. Bill Sharp in his “Looking East” column in Sunday’s Honolulu Star Bulletin clears up the question of China’s political ideology. While Sharp admits that China’s political ideology draws from a number of previous, mostly Soviet philosophies, he subscribes to the classification of Minxin Pei, the director of the China Program at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace. Sharp writes:

Minxin Pei writes in the March/April 2006 issue of Foreign Policy, that China might best be described as a “neo-Leninist state.” Pei’s view is based on the strong role of the party-guided state in controlling key sectors of the economy and blocking democratic development. When necessary, the state uses coercion to preserve its economic and political dominance. Somewhat reluctantly, Pei acknowledges that China has successfully used market forces to achieve great growth; however, he states that China’s growth isn’t as impressive as Japan’s, South Korea’s or Taiwan’s.

Neo-Leninist state, eh? I like the sound of that. And what’s the part about Japan’s growth being more impressive than China’s? That surprised me. I wonder what the Chinese government thinks of all this. Anyway, the article goes through each political ideology commonly linked with the Chinese system and Sharp describes to what extent China fits each characterization. Pretty interesting stuff.

•Star Bulletin: Will the Real China Please Stand Up?