I’d like to begin by saying this is one of the sickest things I’ve ever heard. But since I have a duty to report the news and confront my readers with the true nature of this sick world, I have decided to tell this story without making jokes. Well, without a lot of jokes . And this woman’s name is China, so it showed up on my newsfeed. So…Tuesday, a mother in Dayton, Ohio was arrested on suspicion of having microwaved her newborn daughter, Paris Talley. China Arnold, 26, was locked up Monday on murder charges. The Montgomery County coroner’s office announced that forensic evidence in the August 2005 death was consistent with “the use of a microwave oven.” There were no external burns, but rather, “high-heat internal injuries.” I wonder if there are internal injuries consistent with medium heat or the defrost setting. The official cause of death was hyperthermia, or high body temperature, which, if you ask me is a bit misleading. Hyperthermia more commonly describes a death caused by a high fever. China Arnold denies having anything to do with her daughter’s death and claims the baby was left with a babysitter the night she died. I use my microwave for popcorn only and sometimes to heat up old coffee. And as a useful household appliance, we should keep in mind that microwaves don’t kill babies, strung out mothers who don’t have the means to provide for their children kill babies.
•AP: Mom Charged With Baby’s Death