10.  Howard K. Stern
 
Anna Nicole Smith's parasitic lawyer kicks off the 4th Sunday Special countdown.  Howard K. is a classic example of the quasi-famous celebrity who must use a middle initial in order to distinguish himself from a more famous celebrity.  Another example of this is Vanessa A. Williams, an actress on Melrose Place, who is, in all ways, inferior to the Vanessa Williams.  Howard K. Stern accompanies Anna Nicole Smith wherever she goes, including multiple trips to the Howard Stern radio show.  There, K. Stern would routinely get abused by the real Howard for not living up to the name and being in love with Anna Nicole.  With last week's news of Stern being the father of Smith's newborn girl, looks like the "King of All Media" was right about both.
 

9.  Jason Alexander

In 2004, when it was announced that Britney Spears had married Jason Alexander, I immediately imagined Britney standing at the altar with a stocky George Costanza.  Rather, Britney tied the knot with this sorry sack, a marriage that lasted a mere 55 hours.  Britney annulled the marriage after she woke up from her Vegas alcohol daze and realized that Jason Alexander was merely one of her trashy friends.  I imagine that when the real Jason Alexander caught wind of this story he reacted the same way George did when Jerry's date in the Hamptons, Rachel, accidentally saw his shrunken penis: "If she thinks that's me, she's under a complete misapprehension!  That was not me, Jerry!  That was not me!

 

7.  Paul Simon

U.S. Senator Paul Simon checks in at #7 on the list.  The Democrat from Illinois shared his name with a famous singer who is way more famous.   Simon is the only dude on the countdown who is no longer with us, hence, the black and white photo.  Simon eternally left his lover, Jeanne, in 2003 due to complications with a heart surgery.  The senator, unlike the singer, refused to be called Al, or anything other than Paul Simon.  Senator Simon is one of the few men on the countdown whose name does not really allow for a shortening or a nickname (also #3).  Senator Paul Simon and singer Paul Simon made a Saturday Night Live appearance together in 2002.
 

6. Milton Bradley

The parents of this Oakland A's right-fielder obviously never played Candyland, Operation or Battleship.  Had they, the Bradleys would have known their son would would be inextricably linked to most famous American game maker.  Bradley, who owns the most uncommon shared name on the list, should get some credit for not adopting a nickname that would differentiate him from the board game pioneer.  The original Milton Bradley broke on to the gaming scene in 1860 when he invented "The Checkered Game of Life" (now just called "Life").  This Milton Bradley broke onto the baseball scene in 2000 and gained notoriety by throwing bottles at fans and calling an L.A. Times reporter an "uncle Tom".  Bradley's namesake, like the #2 entry on the countdown, crosses racial lines.


 

5. Dr. Dre

Once known as "Dr. Dre", then "East Coast Dr. Dre", then, by me, "the fatter Dr. Dre", then just "Dre", this obese radio personality, pictured right, has been altogether stripped of his identity.  Andre Brown, or "East Coast Dr. Dre", became famous as one of New York's earliest hip-hop aficionados.  Brown hosted Yo! MTV Raps from 1988-95 with sidekick Ed Lover and parlayed this gig into a successful N.Y.C. radio career.  But the worst thing to ever happen to this Dr. Dre was the release of West Coast Dr. Dre's solo album "The Chronic" in 1992 which instantly turned the "fat" Dr. Dre into the "other" Dr. Dre.  By the way, how ridiculous is Ed Lover's hair in this picture?  Dr. Dre, though now the ancillary Dre, currently hosts a hip-hop radio show in New York.
 

4. Kenny Rogers

The Detroit Tigers pitcher is #4 on the list as he shares his name with arguably the biggest country music star of all time.  Rogers, though not nearly as famous as the singer, gained infamy in 2005 for shoving a camera man, throwing his camera to the ground and then kicking it.  This day, Rogers did not heed the advice of his namesake; he did not "know when to walk away" from this embarrassing situation.  Like the country star, baseball's Kenny has enjoyed success throughout his career winning 4 Gold Gloves, pitching a perfect game, starting the 2006 All-Star Game and winning over 200 games.  Kenny's nickname, "The Gambler" was inspired by a song written by the more famous Rogers.
 

1. Chris Columbus

Often, the phenomenon of two famous people having the same name cannot be avoided.  How were Howard K. Stern's parents to know that one day there would be a Howard Stern, "King of All Media"?  But other times, like in the case of Milton Bradley and this one, it seems like the parents were playing a cruel joke on their offspring.  The #1 Sorta Famous Person With a Really Famous Name is Chris Columbus.  This guy must have taken so much shit as a kid.  I mean Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492. He's been famous for over 500 years.  Chris's parents surely had heard of the original Columbus.  And to think, Chris Columbus overcame his name to write the American cinematic masterpieces "Gremlins" and "The Goonies" and direct "Adventures in Babysitting" and "Home Alone".  One could make the case that Chris Columbus, taking into account his nominal handicap, contributed more to human civilization than did Christopher Columbus.  I mean the Americas would have been discovered eventually by someone else.  But without Chris Columbus, there would be no Gizmo or Chunk or even Mouth.  And what kind of America would that be?


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