Top 10 Dirtiest Names in Sports

When Florida State's De'Cody Fagg caught his 7 receptions for 93 yards in Saturday's close one against Troy, the Flumesday Heisman-watch officially began.  I briefly considered buying the web domain "www.De'CodyFaggforHeisman.com" but instead, decided to create a list of the Top Ten Dirtiest Names in Sports.  These are names of athletes that I have trouble saying with a straight face, such as that of my favorite FSU receiver.  These are the names that make me uncomfortable when uttered by straight-laced TV announcers.  These are the names that could be confused for sex positions, venereal diseases and insults for your worst enemies.  These are the Top 10 Dirtiest Names in Sports:




10.  De'Cody Fagg
 
Junior De'Cody Fagg, the top receiver at Florida State, is on his way to a break-out season this year.  The 6'3" wideout from Quincy, Florida has led his team in receiving in FSU's first two games this year, including a big win at Miami.  De'Cody's name, however, makes him even more interesting of a player.  His first name, an normal American name with a "De" and an apostrophe tagged on, is followed by a slur that would otherwise not be permitted on television.





9.  Homer Bush

This former Yankee, Blue Jay and Marlin takes the number 9 spot on the list. Bush grew into the game as a rookie in 1994, was cut by the Marlins in 2002 and pretty much fell off after that.  Bush, always trim throughout his career, never quite reached his hitting potential and managers never quite seemed certain how to use Bush effectively.  Bush eventually became obsolete.  His first name, Homer, short for Home Run, is the root of the term "all the way," a term youngsters use to describe love-making.






8.  Albert Pujols

Arguably the best hitter in baseball, Pujols represents the only Latin-American on the top 10 list.  This is important because if Albert's surname is spoken with a Spanish accent,  it is pronounced "poo-holes".  This places him in the scatological subcategory of the list with one other athlete (#5).  The Dominican slugger has won the Rookie of the Year and MVP awards, which means he's definitely not the shittiest athlete on the countdown.








7.  Irina Slutskaya

The Russian figure skater, Irina Slutskaya, won the European championship in 1996 and 1997.  Although in Russian, her name is probably pronounced differently than it looks, embedded within Irina's last name is one of the more offensive words aimed at women.  Slutskaya didn't go all the way in the 1998 Nagano Olympics, finishing in fifth place in her competition.









6. Ron Tugnutt

Tugnutt enjoyed success as goalie for 16 years and 6 teams in the NHL.  Born Ronald Frederick Tugnutt in Ontario, Canada, he played in one NHL All-Star Game and represented Canada in the 1993 Hockey World Championships.  His given name, Ron, is average in every way, however, his last name Tugnutt, could be confused for a verb and a noun that when used together, would describe the male act of self-fulfillment.








5. Assol Slivets

As the fifth athlete on the list, though lesser-known, Slivets has one of the dirtiest names in the history of sports.  The freestyle skier from Belarus competed in the 2006 Olympics in Turin finishing 5th in the women's aerial ski competition.  Oh yeah, and her first name is Assol.










4. Dick Butkus

This football Hall-of-Famer boasts a moniker so dirty that each syllable of his name are individually dirty.  Well that's not true.  I guess "kus" isn't dirty...unless it comes after "But"!  Dick's last name, Butkus, is pronounced "but-kiss" which could mean the physical act of smooching the buttocks or the slangy meaning of being overly flattering.  Either way, when "Butkus" is preceded by "Dick", its meaning doesn't really matter.  It just becomes the last part of a dirty, dirty name.








3. Johnny Dickshot

Born John Oscar Dickshot in Waukegan, Illinois, Dickshot played outfield for 3 teams from 1936 to 1945.  Johnny's last name is one of the more dynamic on the list as "shot" is somewhat sport-related and "dick" is somewhat funny.  Johnny also had a nickname, "Ugly", which is strange because the concept of a dickshot is so lovely.  Dickshot died in Waukegan in 1997.










2. Dick Trickle

This is about as good as it gets.  Dick Trickle, known as "America's Winningest Driver," began racing on  the short-track circuit in 1958.  The vile nature of his name made Trickle a common joke on Sportscenter  in the 1990s.  The idea of a trickle--a slow, irregular flow of a liquid--following "Dick" in a man's name--conjures up themes of bathroom activities and venereal disease.

1. Chubby Cox

And the #1 Dirtiest Name in Sports is Chubby Cox.  Born John Arthur Cox III, Chubby was a standout at the University of San Francisco in the '70s and was drafted by the Bulls in 1978.  Cox only played in 7 NBA games, for the Washington Bullets in 1983.  Chubby couldn't cut it on the professional level and spent his post-playing years teaching and coaching youths in the San Francisco area.  But what matters most about him is that his name is Chubby Cox.